Mixed feelings

Exams are finally over! It signifies the end of the semester again. Mixed feelings. One more semester and that marks the end of my undergraduate term in NTU. Stepping to the workforce seems so near and yet so far. Filled with feelings of apprehension and curiosity at the same time. Meeting up with frens wouldnt be the same again once you are a working adult. As an introvert, socialising has been one difficult task that never fails to torment me. Haha. I make it sound so bad... It isnt that bad actually. Just that sometimes I just wish to please people too much. And I fear rejections. Since young, making friends on the first day of school always freaks me out, and the older I get, the worse it becomes. When I was younger, there were far less restrictions, I just go all out to do things without thinking of consequences. As you mature cognitively, you will think twice before saying things, ponder as to what choices to make. You arent that spontaneous as before. Haha... I guess it's because you come to realise that not everyone are nice and smiley to u. Sometimes I find this kind of sad.... being a kid seems more carefree and you treat everyone sincerely and genuinely. Kind of longing to be a child again... although it's impossible. I am too old at heart! That's why teachers always leave this comment in my report book: Yanshuang is a mature, responsible student who strives for excellence. Haha...

I like constancy and stability, apprehensive about novelty and risks. Too bad, changes are happening at almost every instant. Saddness looming in the air... yingjia has influenced me again. She always says that we should cherish every moment together as time is running out... things are going to be the same again once we are all working. No more stressing over reports, tests, exams, chit chatting during lessons, ogling at handsome guys.. (not that ntu has plenty!) It just sounds kind of sad. Brings back fond memories of the first day we met, as strangers during the orientation. Somehow I kind of wish that we can study for a few more years..... (not that i dun wish to graduate! choy!) Just that I wish to prolong all these moments. Okay, I shall enjoy my last school semester with my girls! And my guy as well.... Love of all of them!

Xmas is coming! Something to look forward to. I love the xmas lights and xmas trees. Time for pictures!