Despondent

Feeling a little dejected after my checkup with the orthopedic today. Correction: Not just a little dejected, probably a whole lot more. Doc told me that at section L4-L5 of my spine, the spinal disc is degenerative and with desiccation. Desiccation means the drying up or removal of water, in this sense more of removal of the natural jelly-like substance that cushions between the discs and act as a shock absorber. The cause of this is a natural aging process and occurs most commonly in people above 50 years old. So here I am, at age 24 with a body of probably 50 or 60 years old. What struck me badly was the doc's words: It is a one way process. It wont get better, will only get worse.  But not to worry, there is no compression in any form and the overall structure looks fine. After telling me that there is no way to resolve this, you are telling me not to worry? Doc, even though you are really good looking, I think you need to work on breaking such news to your patients. At first I couldnt quite understand my condition when he used the analogy " a dried up orange" to describe it, but then I realised the analogy pretty much sums up the condition. Even though there is no way to stop it from worsening, I decide to incorporate glucosamine, fish oil and probably collagen into my diet to slow down this degenerative process. I really cant imagine what will happen when I am 40 years old. Wait, probably I wouldnt be around then, given my current state of health. I should probably seek my mom's advice, which is to stay alone and not be a burden to my future partner. Hmmm... but can I date doctors instead?  Haha...

Birthday is coming and similar to last year, I have only one wish, which is to get better so that my life moves on and I no longer have to shun myself from others. I can pretty much be alone actually. I have tried it and it actually feels alright. But I hope I dun haf to do that for any longer.